Man Points

How can I describe Man Points? It is the scoring system by which men rate each other. Doing man things gives Man Points while doing non man things taketh the Man Points away. The man with the most Man Points is the most man like. Here is a list of Man Point things. It is clearly just a short sample of criteria that all men have ingrained into their minds at the moment of their conception, if you have any you wish to add, just comment and I’ll see what I can do.

It shames me to admit that I have lost several man points through some of these rules.

Not answering any question on a test +10 mp

When asked to state something in a test write ‘no’ +5 mp

Saying no when a woman tells you to do something +5 mp +10 mp if she’s crazy

Saying no to sex with an attractive woman as you are tired -100 mp

Running like a retard -10 mp

Running like a girl -10mp

Fighting an animal +(weight of animal in kg/10) mp

Jumping down stairs +2 mp

Turning down sex from your mates girl friend +30 mp

Being little spoon -2 mp

Not finishing food -5mp

Going into water in <30mins after eating +10 mp

Hooking up with a girl and avoiding her from then on +1 mp

Referring to ex girlfriends as ‘crazy bitch’ +10 mp

Quoting Zap Brannigan to somebody who doesn’t watch Futurama +5mp

Being Zap Brannigan +50 mp

Being Old Spice Guy +500mp

Rating girls out of ten as they walk past +7 mp

Dancing with your hands above your head -15 mp

Being in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with a hottie +30 mp

Getting lucky from a pick up line +10 mp

Having longer hair than chicks -10 mp

Watching Sex in the City -3 mp

Suiting up + 20 mp per month

Dating a girl under the creepiness rule -30 mp +50 creepy points

Getting a scar from a stupid idea +13 mp

Opening a door for women +3 mp

Having a man purse -20 mp

Having a satchel -10 mp

Having a satchel with skiddles in it +2 mp

Being Indiana Jones +80 mp

Comb-over -15 mp

Mullet +15 mp

Comb-over mullet +0 mp

Shaving Head +20 mp

Drinking straight bottle of vodka +20 mp

Vomiting after -30 mp

Backing a chick over a mate -10 mp

Teasing mates about bad hook-ups +20 mp

Being whipped -50 mp

Having a hot girlfriend +20 mp

Having a dangerous girlfriend +40 mp

Getting stabbed and not crying +15 mp

Making fun of crazy chicks +5 mp

Having bromance -20 mp


11 thoughts on “Man Points

  1. This is exactly why girls think guys are jerks.

    “Rating girls out of ten as they walk past +7 mp”
    “Getting lucky from a pick up line +10 mp”
    “Drinking straight bottle of vodka +20 mp”

    Oh wow, I’m so attracted to that.

    • I meant to write in at the top that this isn’t a serious list. Nor do are man points necessarily good things. Who says being a total guys guy is a good thing? As me and my buddy wrote these we agreed that we wouldn’t ever do some of the things we rated positively.

      Also in my mind ‘getting lucky’ means ‘impressing’.

  2. Haha nice! Good read 🙂

    Yea, like you said, not all of these are really good things. I’d probably call them Guy points. And some of them will vary between different social groups, and different groups may have their own specific/extra ones, like, skaters would have different ones to tradies.

    But yea, I’d say most guys think like this (in points) most of the time, and every guy has done at some point 😛

    I’d say being a man is in some respects a bit of a different matter… (I have a slightly different view of masculinity to most.)

  3. “Having longer hair than chicks -10 mp”

    Unless Chloe is dishing out the points, then youre +1000000000000000000 points.

    Hahaa; this made me laugh.
    And cringe, especially when mullets got added points.. ?__?

    Now that i’m your new-found blog stalker, you should definitely return the favour.

    Go on.
    I know you want to.

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