How a Real Man Handles Being Single on Valentines Day

How a Real Man Handles Being Single on Valentines Day

One: Buy something really decadent to eat. A two (or maybe four) litre tub of ice cream or a huge block of chocolate works really well. Don’t serve it up though, eat it right out the tub with a spoon.

Two: Listen to some songs about love lost while staring meaningfully out the window. Crying into your pillow is also valid.
Possible playlist:
1. Everyone Got to Learn Sometime by Beck
2. Lover You Should Have Come Over by Jeff Buckley.
3. Brick by Ben Folds.
4. Talk Show Host by Radio Head (not really a song about love lost, but by now you should be feeling angsty enough to relate to it).

Three: You should a third of the way through your ice-cream (or whatever) now, time to finish it off with a movie that matches your mood. Bridget Jones’ Diary or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind are very good choices so that you can cry along with the single characters at the very start of the movie.

Four: It’s getting a bit late now, you’ve finished your ice-cream, your eyes and nose are red from crying and you’re pretty much an emotional wreck. What to do about it? Fix it, by calling up your ex and declaring your unending love for her! If you want to win her back the trick is to really let your heart out and tell her how you really feel about her. Writing a poem and then reading it to her is one way to do this, but real men make up the poem on the spot as they go. Extra points if she’s out at a valentines dinner with her new boyfriends, but don’t let that deter you, make sure she tell her all about why you’re better for her than he is.


4 thoughts on “How a Real Man Handles Being Single on Valentines Day

  1. Icecream, while a good move, should be supplemented by a box worth of chicken nuggets. put in oven then forget about, then remember in time to eat

  2. This seems more like something that a man with real gender issues would handle being single on Valentine’s Day.

  3. So. I have no idea how I winded up at your blog, but suffice to say I did quite a bit of blog hopping and I stumbled on this.

    And I love it.

    You crack me up. (:

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