Do Real Men Wear Shorts?


Yesterday was pretty hot, so I decided to crack out the old shorts. Only problem was, I hadn’t worn shorts in so long that I didn’t really know what kind is ‘in’ for guys at the moment. So I put on some non-discrepant ones and too notice of what shorts the guys were wearing at uni, and I learnt something. Apparently guys don’t wear shorts. I mean, sure, there was that one guy wearing shorts, but he was wearing crocks too, so he wasn’t exactly a fashion guru. And there was that other guy wearing tight shorts, but the rest of his clothes were tight too, actually, judging by the way he walked, there’s a good chance that he’s gay.

I gotta say though, I miss wearing shorts. Even if it isn’t cool, everything seems so much nicer when you’re free to move around. I think I’m going to stick it to the man and wear shorts anyway, just to spite people. “LOOK AT ME. I’M WEARING SHORTS AND ENJOYING MYSELF. SIT THERE IN YOUR COOLNESS AND BE UNCOMFORTABLE.”

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My Fanfic of Real Life


My good friend Penguins does a thing called Story Saturday where she writes a story featuring her friends every Saturday. Sadly, due to illness (or something) she couldn’t do it last Saturday and got me to fill in for her, writing a story about my friends. After reading it a lot of people commented that it read like a fanfic, so I decided to call it a fanfic of real life. So, as this is the first thing I’ve written for ages please go over there and tell me what you think of it back here: http://talesfeaturingthepenguinsdemise.blogspot.com/2011/07/story-saturday-guest-story-by-tom.html

http://talesfeaturingthepenguinsdemise.blogspot.com/2011/07/story-saturday-guest-story-by-tom.html

How I Feel About Living Alone


A few days my parents left, to continue their mission to transform a run down old kindy into a home place they can retire into. The twist was that this time, instead of trying to squeeze all of us into a ute which can technically fit three people in it (but in reality can fit two medium sized adults and a small child) they’ve left me at home to fend for myself at home, for a whole week.

This is the first time I’ve had to care for myself for this long so I was naturally rather excited. Afterthree days I’ve decided that the worst thing about looking after yourself if making food. Not that it’s bad, I’ve been really happy with my cooking, it’s just that I’m doing it all the time. I get up in the morning, I make breakfast, wait a few hours, make lunch, and then a few hours later I have to make tea. AND THIS HAPPENS EVERYDAY. Luckily, it doesn’t take very long because I’m only making food for myself, but it is annoying that it keeps happening.

The Cover of House of Leaves

Image via Wikipedia

A fun extra challenge is that today I woke at 11am sick with nobody to look after you. So I spent most of the today watching Pokemon, plus a few episodes of Death Note. Being home alone has been a very good for my consumption of media, I finally managed to finish reading House of Leaves. Strangely, I feel that the much less well know Raw Shark Texts was better, but that could just be my opinion.

Something that helps is inviting people over to eat with you because then they bring food for you. For instance, I invited Bec over and traded her chips I made for cupcakes. GENIUS.

Between TV shoes, the radio, people visiting and social networking lonliness hasn’t really been an issue for me. What I think would be cool would be to set up a camera watching everything I do. Because all it would see is a guy silently walking around the house or sitting at his computer even though my mind is always very active and thinking of things. In fact, this could apply to me all the time, maybe that’s why kids can’t understand why their parents don’t like to see them on the computer for ages because in their own mind they’ve been really active.

Anyway, I’m not quite half way through my staying home alone yet so I plan to finish many anime series and possibly take a hard crack at Wheel of Time.

You aren’t really against bullying


By now you’ve probably seen this one of its varients about a thousand times on The Internet:

A 15 year old girl, holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat, noone knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly, noone knows he had a serious injury to his face while he was…fighting in the war. Make this your status if your against bullying & stereotyping, bet none of you will?

Every time I read it, I get really angry because of what it stands for. This isn’t a message against bullying, it’s a message against bullying people who don’t deserve it.

People call a girl fat, noone knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight.

So what does this mean? If the girl didn’t have a serious disease it would be fine to call her fat? Is it fine to pick on someone because they don’t have an excuse to be overweight? Why does this chick have an obligation to other people to keep her weight down. All this is doing is lowering the self-esteem of girls who perceive themselves to be overweight (notice I didn’t say actually are overweight, the first group is much larger than the second).

The other lines aren’t any better. Any  15 year old that has a child clearly has serious issues with their life and needs sympathy, not judgement. And people calling an old guy ugly?  Who does that, how petty could you get?

Just to clarify, in case I’ve been unclear, the wording of this message, or whatever you want to call it, says that bullying these people is justified until it’s found out that they have a good reason for being the way they are.

The last sentence is the one that makes me the most angry though.

Make this your status if your against bullying & stereotyping, bet none of you will?

Ok, for a start that is poor grammar. It’s not a question, it’s a request so it shouldn’t have a question mark there. Secondly, it says that reposting this will somehow put you on the side of good and against bullying. I’m sick of these things on Facebook where saying that support something is substitute for actually actually supporting something. Take the week where everyone changed their pictures to cartoons to take a stand against child abuse. How exactly does changing your picture do anything at all about child abuse? Re-posting this wont do a single thing about bullying, in fact it’ll make it worse because of the flawed aesop.

This is how I think it should go:

A fifteen year old girl holds her one year old son and people call her a slut. Nobody cares about how hard her life is and helps her. People call a girl fat, and miss meeting the person who could have been her best friend. People call an old man ugly, instead of talking to him and learning about all the extraordinarily things that have happened in this life. Pass this on if you want to, but more importantly, show kindness to others, even when you find them distasteful.

But then again, I find all of these dime a dozen sentimental statements to be annoying anyway.

My Driving Adventure


People, sit down. Because last week I went to a party. Yes, I can hear you exclaiming from here.

At 8 I got picked up by my BFF Leah and she took me down. I navigated from the directions she downloaded from Google Maps and she drove and we got to the party in 25 minutes.

Unlike me, Leah has a job and she had to be there pretty early the next morning, so we worked out that we would have to leave the party at  6:30 in the morning to get there. Not that we let that tiny detail stop us! Oh no, we stayed up until 3:30 that morning having a great time before everyone who was staying the night went to bed.

This may have affected our cognitive processes, because in the morning Leah and I drove in the complete wrong direction to where we were supposed to be going. If you drew a straight line from where we were supposed to be going, to where we started and kept on going, that is where we went. Luckily we decided that nothing looked familiar (remember that when we came up it was dark so we didn’t know what any of the land marks looked like) and turned around. Unluckiily for us, after we turned around we still didn’t see any landmarks that we knew.

I’d like to take a moment to point out that I want to follow all the signs that said where we wanted to get to was only 30km away. Leah, however, was the driver and she wanted us to follow the path that we were ‘meant’ to be travelling. So after a quick call from her step dad, we got back on the right path. Except either her step dad was wrong or we were so tired that she got the wrong end of the stick, because Leah though he told her to go back the way we came. The wrong way. So off we went again! And I gotta say, we got pretty far before her mum called and and set her going the right way again. Much further than we went the first time.

And THAT is how you make a 25 minute car trip last 2 hours.

Why I Suck at Call of Duty


Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
Image via Wikipedia

Particularity Modern Warfare 2. I mean seriously, nobody ever let me join the army, or like.. hold a gun. Anything more powerful than a Nerf Gun and I’ll shoot my own foot off. Below I’ve outlined some reasons why I’m so bad at it.

Grenades

The enemy is inside Burger King, me and a few squad mates are outside it. First, I throw a grenade into the window, it bounces off the railing and comes back towards me so I have to sprint around to the other side of the building. I see another window and jump through that.. at the exact same time one of my squad mates throws a grenade through the window I was at before. I had to turn around and jump right back out of the window that I’d just jumped through. Bare in mind that at this point the enemy hadn’t had to fire at me at all and I’d nearly died twice. The worst thing about grenade deaths is the info that comes up before you respawn: “This is the grenade danger icon, take action when you see it.” As if I didn’t know what it was.

Friendly Fire

There are two types of friendly fire that I have trouble with, one makes me mad and one makes me sad. The first one is when you crouching, looking down the scope, firing at the enemy.. and one of your genius squad members walks out in front of your line of fire. Umm, hello guy! I’m kinda shooting here! The second type of friendly fire is when there are two entrances to a building and you and your partner take different routes in. You go around, shoot up some bad guys, adrenalin is pumping through your veins, your wired to shoot anything that move, you turn around a corner.. and shoot your partner in the face. Even worse is when it isn’t one of the important characters and they actually die. I feel like the worst guy in the world.

Army Talk

“Roger, I have contact on 15 plus tangos and a BTR who are Oscar Mike.” What.the.hell. I’m not in the army, I don’t know what these words mean. I mean, I can usually figure it out but it’s just adding to my already considerable confusion. What’s worse is when they say “Ramirez! Bogey at ten o’clock!” When you’re in the middle of turning. So.. is it at 10 to where I am now? Or where I was? Maybe even some point in the middle. This is usually follow by me eating a couple bullets to the face.

Performance Anxiety

Whenever someone is watching I play even worse than usual. I’m actually not that bad at snipering, but when someone’s watching I spray bullets all over the place, or, more accurately, just around who I’m trying to shoot without touching them. There’s nothing worse for your self esteem than someone seeing you waste a whole magazine trying, and failing to kill a single man running in the open. And not just a normal magazine, sniper magazine, where you line up each shot.

I’m a Lover, Not a Fighter

I actually feel bad when I kill people in Modern Warfare 2. Not all the time, not half the time, but often enough. I think it has to do with the level of detail in the game. When the enemy is wearing a mask and full army gear killing them doesn’t feel bad because they’re just generic mooks, who really cares? But when they’re brazillion gang members I feel terrible. I see them and think that they have lives, family. I think about how their whole life was leading to this point, and I just killed them. Soul crushing.

In conclusion, do.not.ever.let.me.near.a.gun.

The Facebook Virus


Image representing Dropbox as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Ok, so Facebook just went into lockdown a few minutes ago, I’m not sure when the problem started, people seem to be calling this the Facebook ‘virus’.

What would happen is it would appear like someone just posted on your wall saying “I hate you. Go die. Why don’t you fuck yourself. The only way to block this is click remove app” (or something similar, Facebook removed the original messages). Just below would be a link saying “remove app”. Most people click it right away not knowing what it actually was. Instead of a removal button it was a link to a javascript program on Dropbox that would run when click. The program seems like it would then post the same message that you got to every one of your friends walls, complete with the link. Because of how instinctive clicking remove is this spread at an alarming rate.

Facebook seems to have removed it now, however this has had the side effect of locking down the news feed to not being able to go back further than a few minutes ago. IPhone was related to this in some way, possibly auto spamming the message. I guess we’ll know more in a few days time. I’m impressed by Facebook by the speed at which they responded to this by shutting down the wall. It is possible that there is some kind of automated system put in place to stop these kinds of things which only activates once it reaches a critical mass.

From what I can tell this attack was focused on compramising Facebook accounts, not peoples computers, still, running a virus scan couldn’t hurt. You should defiantly change your password to Facebook if your account was spamming other people. If it’s too much trouble remembering and coming up with new passwords use LastPass to create  and keep track of passwords for you. Heck, even if you weren’t comprimised you should start using LastPass.

The source of this was a girl called Nicole Santos, which is also why there are so many hate groups about her on Facebook now.

Next time you see something fishy on your Facebook wall, like someone you’re good friends with telling you to fuck yourself, think before doing what the bad thing tells you to do. Still, it was pretty exciting to watch. Just one thing, could we please not make a thousand Facebook groups about this? Please?